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Lada Niva

Tech Talk for Ford, Mazda, Daihatsu & Makes that currently dont have a home.

Moderator: Tiny

Posts: 1780
Joined: Wed Oct 05, 2005 6:43 pm
Location: Toowoomba, QLD

Post by midget_nick »

nebivedu wrote:Which is the biggest society of belivers?.
The Lada owners, they all belive they have a car!

What's the difference between a Lada and a Jehovah's Witness?
You can close the door on a Jehovah's Witness

What's the difference between a Lada and a sheep?
It's less embarasing being seen climbing out the back of a sheep.

Man buys a Lada but after only one day of ownership returns it to the
garage.
"It's no good mate, the car's no good for me" says the man
"Why not?" asks the car dealer.
"See that steep hill over there?" says the man pointing
"Well it will only get up to seventy five up there!"
"That's not bad really sir, for a Lada especially. I can't see a problem
with that"
"Trouble is" said the man, " I live at ninety five

What is the difference between a lada and a Tampon ?
You get a tow rope with a Tampon.


What do you call a man in a suit getting out a Lada, in a court car park ?
The accused.


A man goes into a car accessory shop and say's to the assistant "Can I have
a hub cap for my Lada?"
The assistant thinks for a moment and reply's "Okay, it seems a fair swop"


Did you hear about the bloke who had his Lada broken into?
The thieves put him a radio in!


Why is a lada like a woman?
Because when you put your foot down there is no response!


What do you call a Lada convertible?
A Skip.


What do you call a Lada going up a hill?
A bloody miracle.

Somewhere in the middle of Spain, a Lada is driving along and meets a
donkey.
The donkey, never having seen a Lada before, asks: "What are you?"
The Lada say's "I am a car. What are you?"
The donkey say's "Hahahaha... If you're a car, I'm a horse!"

Heard of Lada's new turbo model?
It has pedals in the backseat, too!

How do you make a Lada worth twice as much?
You fill up the gas tank.

A kid is walking down the road when a car pulls up beside him. The window
winds down and a middle aged man peers out and says "Come into the car and
I'll take you for a drive." The kid refuses and walks on.
The car follows him and pulls up again. "C'mon" says the driver "Hop in and
I'll give you a packet of Smarties".
Again the kid refuses and walks away.
The car follows him and pulls up beside him again. The driver steps out and
says, "If you come for a drive I'll give you all the sweets you want".
The kid turns around and says "Look Dad, you bought the bloody Lada, now you
deal with it!"

Why is the Lada's rear window heated?
So the hands of the people pushing it will not freeze.

How do you make a Lada disappear?
You spray it with rust remover!

Now they have made a new Lada, with two exhaust pipes.
So you can use it as a wheelbarrow at weekends.

A Lada can reach a speed of 125 mph, if it's transported on the railway!

Did you know that the Lada's instruction book contains 500 pages?
There are two pages with information about the car and 498 pages with bus
and train timetables.

Why do insurance companies enjoy Lada's?
They are never stolen.

Why is there light under the Lada's bonnet?
So you can fix it 24 hours a day.

There is a new 16 valve Lada.
It has 8 in the engine, and 8 in the radio.

My cousin was unemployed. Then he became a Lada salesman.
He is still unemployed, but now we understand why

Do you know what all the Lada owners are dreaming about?
Getting a ticket for speeding.

From a newspaper: To the man who stole my Lada in 20 degrees of frost.
Keep the Lada, but please tell me how you started it!

Did you know that there are only two men working in the Lada factory?
One with scissors and one with glue.

Do you know what the trip counter in the Lada says when it's passing 20,000
miles?
GAME OVER!!!

if u read the rules at the top of this topic u will see that this section is for TECH articles ONLY.

and them jokes arent even funny
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2006 9:53 pm
Location: Melbourne, Aus

Post by Golgo »

Hehe - funny or no, there's some truth to a few of those :)
For the record: never stolen, a few speeding fines, twin exhaust.
I own 2 and am about to get another one. So stupid.

mtb4x4mad: Plenty of room in the back with the seats down. I currently have 6 wheels/tyres for a racing Skyline. You need to be good at Tetris though.

I did have a couch in there once though...

Image
Your car needs more aerials
Posts: 8556
Joined: Mon Jun 13, 2005 9:34 pm
Location: Sydney

Post by RockyF75 »

^
|
|
|

:rofl: :rofl:
Reminded me of Mr Bean :D
60 + Turbo, 33"s :armsup:
Posts: 5714
Joined: Fri Nov 22, 2002 3:55 pm
Location: Perth WA.

Post by nicbeer »

ok, coming over to the dark side.

can anyone tell me about the TBI units on the lada, i saw gm mentioned and are these the same as the camira units?

cheers
[url=http://www.outerlimits4x4.com/viewtopic.php?p=930942#930942&highlight=]Zook[/url]
U SUK Zook Built and Sold.
New rig is 97 80 DX. 2" list 33s
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 6:39 pm
Location: morayfield

Post by little wizard »

to all lada drivers Lada has completed a winch challenge at rocky and had a ball of fun it has twin winch one front one mid mount 29 x 7.5 x 15 centipede look at pics on comp and events GO THE LADA
Posts: 1322
Joined: Wed Jun 16, 2004 1:30 pm
Location: Warragul Vic

Post by goodie »

little wizard wrote:to all lada drivers Lada has completed a winch challenge at rocky and had a ball of fun it has twin winch one front one mid mount 29 x 7.5 x 15 centipede look at pics on comp and events GO THE LADA
link???
[quote="CJ Burns Esq"]an LS1 is like a retard on viagra,
they'll stick it into anything...........[/quote]
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 6:39 pm
Location: morayfield

Post by little wizard »

look at http://rh589.photosite.com and look at all winch trucks u will find the lada :D
Posts: 5714
Joined: Fri Nov 22, 2002 3:55 pm
Location: Perth WA.

Post by nicbeer »

How the dolphins go in the winch challenge?

:armsup:
[url=http://www.outerlimits4x4.com/viewtopic.php?p=930942#930942&highlight=]Zook[/url]
U SUK Zook Built and Sold.
New rig is 97 80 DX. 2" list 33s
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu May 04, 2006 6:39 pm
Location: morayfield

Post by little wizard »

they got the crowd going just for laughs . there will be a spread in 4x4 monthly soon keep an eye out for it over the next few months. :)
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